Fandom Conquerors
by awesomepigman
Summary: Who rule the world? Tumblrlerlers. That's right when the world is overrun by a maleficent sorceress two heroes step up to rule all the realms (fandoms) for the sorceress. Conquering realms such as the realm of Supernatural, Game of thrones, Middle Earth, and many more. Rated T for teen.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Who rule the world? Tumblrlerlers. That's right when the world is overrun by a maleficent sorceress two heroes step up to rule all the realms (fandoms) for the sorceress. Conquering realms such as the realm of Supernatural, Game of thrones, Middle Earth, and many more. Rated T for teen.**

* * *

Once upon a time a beautifully devious sorceress conquered the world and her manservant said…

"We must bathe in the blood of our enemies to absorb their powers"

But the manservant's words fell on deaf ears.

Nobody cared. The manservant was reminded of the time his father left him in the woods to be raised by bears. He missed his bear pappy. He stared at the rug adorning the sorcerer's floor and whispered "I'm sorry pappy."

You see the boy's pappy was dead. The sorceress killed him for his golden treasures of honey. The sorceress made the manservant hold his innocent (but fluffy) bear pappy down while she stabbed him through the heart.

"Focus man slave!" Commanded the sorceress "Have you heard a word I've said?"

"Uh….", the manservant stuttered trying to pull his mind away from the memories of pappy.

"Imbecile." she muttered. "I said that we've brought this realm under our control, but there are still many more realms to conquer. As much as I hate to admit it, we need help."

'Help?' thought the manservant what kind of grievous evil could require the sorceress to call upon help.

"What kind of help do you speak of?"

"We need the help of those who know the realms best. Those who study the realms day and night."

"You don't mean…?"

"Yes I mean the tumblrlerlers."

* * *

Enter in on two teenage goddesses on tumblr. One eating an entire salami whilst blogging. The other with her computer in the kitchen, blogging while making cheese dogs. The salami eating blogger was sprawled out on the floor occasionally dropping her salami and calling out 'five second rule'. It was quite a sight to behold.

Suddenly, a compilation of adorable pigs in cat suit photos showed up on their dashboards. The sorceress knew that pigs in cat suit photos were the easiest way to both of their hearts. As they each hit "reblog" they were pulled through their computers into the sorceress' castle.

Falling onto the cold ground the first blogger collapsed reaching for the salami which was just out of reach. The second blogger quite gracefully caught the falling tray of cheese dogs with no effort at all. Only to realize the cheese dogs had disappeared, setting the tray down she removed them from her thought.

"Welcome great tumblrlerlers of your realm! You two have spent more time studying the tumblr than any other tumblrlerler" proclaimed the sorceress loudly. "You two are the most capable of all in your realm."

"Yeah, that's what that means." Stated the second blogger dryly. Her name was Kassidy and she was better than the first blogger in every way. In her opinion, that is.

"My… s-salami…" Amy, the first blogger muttered in distress still reaching for her delightful snack, because salami is indeed a snack.

"Don't you think there are more pressing matters at hand here?" Kassidy stared down at her friend flopping on the floor for salami. "We're kind of in a castle _and not our houses!"_

"Shh…. " The friend said raising a shush finger to her lips. "The baby needs me." she choked as her hand once more stretched in the direction of her meaty treaty.

"AHEHEM." The sorceress cleared her throat loudly. "Are you two quite finished? I have brought you here for a reason!"

The manservant looked nervously from sorceress to the two girls on the ground. He knew the sorceress was not patient and the two girls were testing what little patience she did have.

"I advise the two tumblrerlers to listen to my lady. Her proposition would benefit us all in the end."

"Woah, woah, woah. What did you just call us?" Kassidy could barely stifle a giggle. Amy however, sat in fetal position nibbling on her salami glad to be reunited. It was obvious to the manservant that these were not the realm-conquerors they were looking for. The sorceress however, was convinced that these two were perfect for the job.

"You two know much of the realms that surround this one. Much more than I do. I am already conqueror of this realm, I long to be conqueror of all realms. You two shall travel to each of the realms and destabilize it, making it easy for my warriors to capture the realm."

"You want us to help you rule all realms? What's in it for us?" Kassidy asked.

"I believe the two of you have dreamt of visiting these realms for a long time, am I wrong?"

"What is a realm?" the first blogger, currently eating a salami, Amy asked.

The sorceress looked dumbfounded, could the girl really not know a single thing about realms?

"A realm? That which you search amongst everyday? I sent you a photo of kittens n pig suits on your realm viewer."

"OH…. you mean a fandom. Why didn't you just say that?"

The sorceress did not understand the words these girls spoke, but she needed them so she just faked it.

"Yes, fandumb. I prefer to not use such peasant terms." The sorceress said, inside applauding herself for learning a new word.

"Before we agree to anything, I need to know what we get when you conquer all realms.'" Kassidy stated.

"I will give you each one realm to rule over. Of course you'll still serve under me, but you'll be my vassals, living in the realm of your choosing."

Kassidy thought about how badass Daenerys Targaryen is and those beautiful green eyes of Dean Winchester. She was in.

"I'll do it!" She exclaimed. "I'll join your cause!"

The sorceress smiled. "And you Amanda?"

Amy thought of Castiel and his eyes so blue she could swim in them if it wasn't for her fear of water. Then her mind wandered to the thought of riding horseback, stabbing people and dislocating shoulders across middle earth. She was so in.

"I will do it on one condition."

"Yes…" the sorceress asked hesitantly.

"CALL ME BY MY FUCKING NAME BITCH! IT'S AMY! A, M, AND FUCKING Y!" The salami wielding girl seemed to turn into a fiendish beast ready for blood. No one messes with her name.

The sorceress was taken aback by the girls change in character. Though not hard to expect from someone who chooses to go by the name awesomepigman. What even is an awesomepigman?

No matter the girls wish isn't hard to make, just a word. It's not like I'll be talking to her much anyway.

"Very well, I'll call you Amy. Is it agreed then you both will do as I ask?"

"It is agreed." Kassidy said, mocking the sorceress' way of speaking. Luckily for her, the sorceress didn't notice.

"Can I get that in writing?" Amy asked making things harder than they needed to be (that's what she said) as usual.

"Is the word of an all-powerful ruler not enough for you?" The sorceress was becoming fed up with the girls' impudence.

"She'll be fine with that." Kassidy said, elbowing Amy hard. "Won't you Amy?"

"No. Writing or it's a no go." Amy said firmly.

"I'll throw in a salami." Stated the sorceress.

"Damn, she knows how to barter." Amy whispered under her breath. "It's a deal." She finally agreed begrudgingly.

Finally, thought the manservant. Maybe the sorceress will allow me to have a salami too.

"Good. I will first send you to the unnatural world of the Winchesters. You must find a way to disturb the balance in their realm." She tossed Kassidy a small mirror on a chain, not trusting Amy to catch it. "From there you have freedom to choose the realm you travel to. You will use this mirror amulet to travel between realms."

"How does it work?" Kassidy asked

"You must make a rhyme whilst thinking of the realm you would like to see." The sorceress answered. "Now, repeat after me and you will travel to the Winchester's realm."

"Ready." Kassidy said. Amy had a mouthful of salami and did not answer. Well she tried to answer but she had a mouthful… you get the point.

"Mirror, mirror. Oh so fair"

Kassidy and Amy repeated.

"_Mirror, mirror. Oh so fair"_

"Let us see Dean Winchester"

"_Let us see Dean Winchester"_

As Amy and Kassidy repeated this, the last syllable left their mouths and the mirror sucked them in and landed them into the back of a black '67 Chevy Impala.

* * *

**A/N: Before I end up writing too much I have to admit I was not the only author of this story. This is a new story I'm working on and is 100% co-authored by a friend of mine. You can find her at mybabiesaredragons . tumblr . com and kassikatastrofy . deviantart . com. She is amazing and probably wrote and did a billions times more work on this than me. Anyway sorry I've been gone so long. Hope you enjoyed it.**

**A/N2: Hello all! My name is Kassi and I'm the co-author of this little tale. This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction and it seems to be going well. I'll try and keep on awesomepigman to post more frequently than every 4 months! Hope you guys liked it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the fandoms, that's just too much power. I do own a salami, and have been known to eat it.**

~from a schizophrenic co-author who probably shouldn't be allowed online at this point; and a voice in her head

awesomepigman &amp; kassikatastrofy


	2. Chapter 2

"Owwwwwww" Kassidy groaned as she propped herself up on the black leather of the Impala seat. Wait. Black leather? Impala? she thought. "Holy shit!" She exclaimed.

"Well fuck me with a telephone pole!" Amy yelled, cradling her one and a half salamis.

"you flying dicks need to stop popping up in the back of my car!" A gruff voice snapped.

"Holy Shit." Kassidy whispered again.

"Dean, I don't think those are angels. I think they're teenagers." Sam observed

"How the hell would a couple of teenagers just fall into the back of my car?"

"Well I don't know, why don't we ask them?" Kassidy could practically hear the bitch face in that sentence."Um, hi there. My name's Kassidy and my salami toting friend over here is Amy."

"Salamiiiii" Amy cooed.

"We're just here looking for...um…"

"SALAMI" Amy yelled. Kassidy elbowed her not-very-eloquent friend. "Ow." She slapped a hand over Amy's mouth.

"As I was saying, we're looking for an angel named Castiel an-"

The impala was suddenly jerked over to the shoulder and Dean threw his door open. He open the back door and grabbed Kassidy by the collar and put a gun to her temple. Amy sat in the back seat, clutching her salami to her bosom.

"What the hell do you want with castiel?" Dean growled through clenched teeth.

"Jesus fucking Christ nothing! We just wanted to talk to him! We thought you two would know where he was but obviously we're mistaken so we'll just be on our way." Kassidy looked into Dean's eyes pleadingly. She really didn't want to die in the first realm.

"No, you're both coming with us until we figure out what the hell you are and why you want to talk to Castiel." Dean shoved Kassidy roughly into the back of the car, climbed into his own seat and pulled back onto the road.

"Shhhh... my babies." Amy mumbled "No one is going to hurt you" Except for me when I eat you.

"Amy! Will you please stop coddling your salami for two seconds! We kinda have a problem here!" Kassidy hissed into Amy's ear. This salami thing was getting out of hand.

"Okay… One mississippi, two mississippi. There two seconds, now come here my babies, was moom gone too long?"

Kassidy ignored her friend and tried to listen to the conversation between the brothers in the front seat.

"What do they want with Cas?" Dean whispered

"No clue. We don't even know what they are, much less their motives. Do you really think it's a good idea to bring them with us?"

"I don't know Sammy!" Dean hissed "What else do we do with them? I'd rather have them where I can see them than wandering around doing who knows what."

"Well then what about the hunt? We can't take them with us. What if they're just teenagers who have somehow figured out who we are and that angels are real? They would be slaughtered going after demons."

"They might not be teenagers, they might _be_ demons."

"One way to find out" Sam said pulling out a flask. "Here, thirsty?" Sam held the flask towards Amy.

"No." Amy the great and awesome said rejecting the flask. Kassidy, knowing the flask was full of holy water, took the flask from Sam and took a swig. "Thanks" She said. "I think my friend's thirsty too, aren't you Amy?"

"Not really."

"Just take the damn flask Amy."

"Well if you're gonna be rude about it." Amy took the flask with the hand that wasn't petting her salami and took a swig. She handed the flask back to Sam.

"What did you put in that your sweat socks? I was hoping for the alcohol."

"It's water" Sam said, screwing the cap back on. He looked over at Dean. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were locked on the road ahead of them.

"So they're not Demons." Sam stated

"So what do we do with them?" Dean asked

"Bobby?"

"Bobby."

Sam pulled out a phone and dialed a number. "Hey Bobby, we need to ask you a favor. Can you babysit?"

"What are they and why do I have to watch them?" Bobby Singer asked, looking over the two girls.

"I'm a psychopath!" Amy chirped.

Kassidy slapped a hand over Amy's mouth and tried to not be disgusted by her friend licking her palm. "No she's not, she's just… a little…" Kassidy circled the side of her head with her index finger symbolizing her friend was cuckoo cachoo.

Bobby looked at the strange scene in front of him. "Uhuh…"

"We just need you to watch them until we get back from this hunt. Shouldn't be more than a few days, just throw a bowl of water out and make sure they don't go anywhere." Dean said

"And as far as we know they're human." Sam added

"Humans who can pop up in my back seat" Dean muttered, "Thanks Bobby, we owe you one."

"you owe me more than one. Come back soon."

* * *

Sam and Dean climbed into the Impala and sped off on their way to another demon possession. There'd been a lot of those lately. It gave Kassidy and idea on how to conquer this realm. Amy had an idea too, it involved popcorn and salami. It was not a good idea. Kassidy just needed to find the right time to tell Amy about the plan. Now was not that time, with the bearded Bobby watching them. Amy however thought now was the time to set her plan in motion.

"Can I have some popcorn?" Amy asked wide eyed.

"No." Bobby said stubbornly. That's where Amy's plan failed.

"Who are you all?" Kassidy asked as Amy sat confused that her plan didn't work.

"Why do you want to know?" Bobby avoided the question like a pro. Like. a. pro.

"Well, we are kind of being held hostage right now." Kassidy answered like a pro. Just like a goddamn pro.

"Yeah, you can't keep us like this! At least let the salamis go on and be safe!" Amy said, her reply, like a pro, pro-sperous, pro-lright, pro-hogany.

Bobby was confused by these, well, whatever they were. They couldn't just be regular teenagers, they were acting too strangely. They also managed to sneak into Dean's baby, that had to take some unnatural talent. And what was the tall one's obsession with the two partially eaten salami?

"What are you?" Bobby asked sharply while leading the two into his living room.

"We're Tumblrlerlers!" Amy shouted, excited about her new title.

"you're what?" Bobby asked dryly.

"Tumblrlerlers! We're doing the bidding of an evil sorc-" Kassidy slapped a hand on Amy's mouth. She was considering getting a permanent gag for her friend.

"We're just tourists. My friend meant to say that we're just tourists."

"Uhuh…" Bobby was getting more and more confused, and cautious.

"Can I talk to my friend for a moment. Alone?" Kassidy asked, almost positive that she would be denied.

"Sure. I guess. I'll go stand over in the kitchen but if I hear that door open you two are dead where you stand." Bobby [verb] for effect.

"Noted." Kassidy pushed Amy as far away from the kitchen door as she could. "I have a plan." She whispered.

"So do I!" Amy whispered back.

"Does it involve salami? If it involves salami I don't want to hear it."

Amy lowered her head meekly. "It was a good plan" she mumbled to her salami.

"Look, we need to cause chaos here and the best way to do so is to get Dean and Sam, or at least Dean, out of the picture."

"So we kill Dean? I won't kill dean are you crazy!" Amy exclaimed as quietly as she could.

"We shouldn't have to. Bobby is like a father to both of them. If we kill him, one of them will sell their souls to a crossroads demon. If it's Dean, then we've won. If it's Sam, Dean will sell his soul in place of Sam's and we've won. All we have to do is get Bobby killed."

"Kill Bobby? That's gonna be hard. Plus it's not very nice."

"Well we shouldn't have to do it ourselves, if we can get the attention of some of the many demons in this realm then they'll do it for us." Oh my God, she thought. I'm actually plotting to get someone killed! Is this even worth it? Kassidy thought of the different realms she longed to visit, Westeros, Middle Earth, London, and decided that yes, it was worth it.

"Let's summon some demons"

* * *

**A/N:YoYOYYOOOOOOOOOOO! Hello my peepelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! …. Wow that could get annoying. So um funny story this was written back on May 3rd and I forgot to post it until now...oops. Plus Kas was so very nice about this mistake that she never said a word...Yeah sorry. I'm awful and owe you guys and Kas a big apology.**

**Anywho say thats too Kas for the chapter because she wrote it while I ate popcorn and used the find and replace tool to mess her up. Yeah...I mean it when I say I'm an awful person. Whelp better wrap this up, sorry no note from Kas on this one but trust me she puts a lot of effort in writing this and she really does do all the work… I'm just the spokesperson/ultra incredible and stupendous publisher if you will.**

**Over and out.**

**~awesomepigman**


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